The angry person is the person who is hurting, who is in pain, who is detached from loving themselves.
Feelings of angry vary and can be a normal part of life. Most times anger is the end result of feeling of being under attack, frustrated, deceived, insulted or rejected. For most being angry is a very natural reaction that is usually short lived. There are instances for some anger is a very difficult emotion to control or simply let go.
Holding to anger or being unable to manage it can lead to issues in all types and forms of relationships including intimate ones. It affects your entire life even your self confidence, self worth, self esteem and self approval.
In this post we'll look at a more detail and offer tips on anger management and how to deal with anger. We'll also explore the options of treatment of hypnotherapy for anger.
When is anger a problem?
Anger has its uses that an emotional reaction triggering physical reaction within the body, mind spirit. The term is called 'fight or flight', this usually happens when the levels of stress are high or when you feel threatened. The physical reaction activated by adrenaline pumped within and around the body, this sensation makes you feel tense, muscles harden, energy is on overdrive, you are ready to 'fight' the threat, flight or flee.
The outer expression of the problem of fighting or running away usually is the inappropriate option. The inner expression or reaction makes for the difficulty in expressing anger, and it is at this point most begin in developing a problem.
Suppressing your anger means you are creating an imbalance within you, this is referred to as bottling it up. The result of this bottling up is short or long lived outbursts at inappropriate times. This opens you up to feeling anger with all things. The angry person is the person who is hurting, who is in pain, who is detached from loving themselves. Without love you can only live in fear, from fear come resentment, hatred, jealousy, guilt, vindictiveness, revenge, suspiciousness, victimisation, abuse, suppression, negative ego, judgement, slander, gossip, nit picking, alienation, hostility, self sacrifice, aggression, violence, these are the most common and have a profound negativity within your life towards yourself and others.
Everyone's experience will differ, but the following types of anger issues are recognised as potentially damaging:
Chronic anger – prolonged, ongoing anger - taxes the immune system, other mental health issues. Not being able to deal with anger may very well lead to physical and mental health problems.
Judgmental anger – this comes from resentment towards others, anger comes with resentment, and it is directed to others.
Overwhelmed anger – when an individual everything is too much, they simply can’t cope.
Passive anger – this affects all relationships as the anger is directed passively.
Self-inflicted anger – guilt creates this anger, it can be mentally damaging and affects other aspects, self sabotage.
Volatile anger – resulting in violent outbursts, uneasy for those close or intimate.
Physical effects of anger
Anger management issues if not rectified will affect your well being :
- disconnectedness / alienation
- emotional imbalances in other areas
- heart disease
- high blood pressure
- self harm
- stomach problems
If the above physical symptoms are not present to you you should consider advice from a professional. Seeing a professional allows you the opportunity in assessing if your symptoms are linked to your anger management issues.
Why so angry?
Everyone is unique, they react differently to circumstances, as their mental and emotional make up are different they all have their own anger triggers. This can be experiences in feeling of being treated unfairly, picked on, unnoticed or some may be frustrated. When people feel a sense of powerless this can trigger frustration and anger. This is evident when abuse was experienced or present, where the individual feels they are unsupported or unloved.
When reviewing your past experiences it is easier to identify your reactions, triggers, feelings as an observer of your past. This is extremely important in understanding why you are angry and the degree of your anger. Your background and upbringing certainly influences you and paves the way in body mind spirit development. If your parents did not love each other, unaffectionate, wanted you to live your life according to their dreams, were violent, abusive, critical, lived a particular lifestyle, unhealthy boundaries, deprived you of love or affection or even food or types of food and clothing, gave you hand me downs without out consideration, you were brought up to believe and accept their behaviour is normal and you would unknowingly accept it to be so.
The other side of the coin you could have grown up seeing anger and violence as a scary emotion. This type of feeling will give an emotional charge of feeling frightened or the inability to express it. Irrespective of your circumstances, when one is able to understand the core or root of your anger initiates the most important step, realisation. When you realise your emotions you are able to put action plan into resolving anger issues. Anger management is a process requiring unique approaches for unique situations, experiences and individuals.
Who needs help with anger management?
The most important step is identifying you have an issue / problem with anger management. It takes a brave, strong, honest person to identify they have a problem; it can be difficult to manage it on your own. A professional is able to assist you as they are trained in understanding you best they can and apply a unique process to assist you move past your present limitations. An observer will always see the entire picture; the one involved only sees what they choose to see.
It is of great benefit to seek professional management help if you have or are experiencing the following behaviours:
- breaking the law
- constantly feel angry without being able express
- deliberately breaking things
- deliberately damage property
- feel out of control when angry
- regularly argue with those closest to you
- unable to express yourself
- violent towards your partner, family or other people
- worried about what you might do
In terms of getting help, there are various approaches to consider, these vary according to your requirements. There are programmes specific, talking therapies, retreats, meditation, healthy life style and my personal favourite, anger management hypnotherapy.
When you embark on self awareness, self healing and self empowerment it is a process that requires self acceptance, nurturing, identification, honesty and understanding. Any anger management courses usually assist individuals and groups at a time. The sole purposes of these sessions or courses offer implementation of alternative possibilities with the aim in successfully dealing with anger. There are self-help tools and self-help techniques and body mind spirit relaxation and exercises.
Talking therapies like counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy usually take place in an space that best serves you, it is most often done in a group environment or one on one. There are various approaches assist you in understanding the cause and secondary cause of your anger, when the root of the problem is rectified the other sub causes / triggers are also reduced or even neutralised. When you understand where your core anger originates from, them the healing process is faster and you are a winner. When you win your attitude changes, you evolve and so does everything else you represent in the betterment for all.
Hypnotherapy is gaining far more acceptance in today’s age and time as people have realised more so everything is in the mind. The power of self has its core in the mind, the weak mind is and unhealthy body mind spirit. The mind dictates the behaviour. Hypnotherapy is very powerful in elevating you to your achievements of your goals with success, ease, grace and joy. When you discover the source of your anger the rest is history as you embark on your hypnotic and self hypnosis journey I call, “The Awakened Time Frame of Your Life”.
Anger management hypnotherapy, is one that certainly assists you in establishing the underlying root cause / source of anger before changing unhelpful thought patterns.
Hypnotherapy for anger
Hypnotherapy most certainly assists you with anger management problems in several ways. The initial goal of the hypnotherapist will be to determine the root cause of your anger, where it was birthed and if it is a generational hand down.
As discussed all anger management problems often stem from past experiences just like all other experiences impact you positively or negatively. These experiences certainly influence you, your reaction and perception of them; they shape your unique behaviour and belief system. Cause and effect you may think another person or situation is causing your anger, it may only come from within you. When understanding this your hypnotherapist can begin work changing this negatively charged imprinting.
Hypnotherapy is working on a conscious and unconscious levels to assist you transmute your negative thought processes into positive outcomes. This may involve relaxation techniques, suggestions, visualisation techniques from your hypnotherapist to help control your anger.
This is all done in the hope to change your reaction to general or specific anger triggers. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and angry, you should feel relaxed, calmer and more grounded. Feeling calmer in charged stressful situations assist you to be in control. think more clearly so you can react in a more appropriate way.
Anger management hypnotherapy is also known to assist with some of the various symptoms of anger. Here is an example, if you are suffering from anxiety, stress or depression hypnotherapy can be helpful and beneficial to your life in more ways than one.
The number of anger management hypnotherapy sessions will be depended on the level and degree and what you are will to achieve dependent on your circumstances. It is common when required to be taught some self-hypnosis techniques and relaxation tips by your hypnotherapist. These are utilised at home, office, wherever you may find yourself and your situation. Triggers points may be activated when you are in a charged aggressive state to passify you and bring you into alignment with self control and focused attention on being in harmony and balance, these can also alleviate the stress and out of control behaviour.
Dealing with anger - self-help tips
The first port of call is being honest and deciding you wish to embark on yourself healing journey.
Seek professional help.
Find someone who deals with the specifics of anger management problems
Make the effort and be serious about helping yourself, commit to the renewal of your life
Here are some helpful tips in controlling and expressing your anger in a healthy and life giving way.
Knowing your triggers
When you understand what circumstances or situations make you feel angry is the most important initial key in your journey to your success. By identifying when you are most likely to feel the energetic charge of your anger, you can be prepared. When you begin making notes when you feel angry and emotionally charge identify the following :
- your situation?
- who is involved?
- what was said to make you feel angry?
- what did they say to make you feel angry?
- what did you feel at the time?
- how did you feel at the time?
- what was your behaviour like
- how did you behave before, during and after?
- how did you feel after the incident?
what was the outcome?
As you begin your self healing process you begin to you should start to notice some patterns emerging. Perhaps you get angry when you feel antagonised, belittled, or maybe you feel angrier after the situation because you couldn't express yourself as you would have liked at the time. Talk through things with your hypnotherapist; go through your notes as this will certainly assist you and them in understanding the underlying reason behind your anger. By simply recognising these patterns can be an enormous help to you.
Gift yourself some time
A simple technique or gestures to yourself to help you manage your anger, when a situation triggers you, give yourself some time before you react. This gifts you time and allows you to really think about how you wish, want, should react, rather than reacting instinctively.
- Try the following suggestions to see if they help:
- Breathe a couple of deep in out breaths - breathing in and out for longer periods can help to calm you
- Breathe out longer - breathing out for longer periods can help to calm you
- Count from 1 to 10 - gives you enough time to calm yourself before you react
- Side track your thoughts - Instead of reacting, attempt to distract yourself by doing something else. Think of your loved ones, happy thoughts, things that made you laugh with hysteria, the food you love, think of something creative or something that has or still pleases you
- Calming music/sounds - Create a calming playlist of music that is soothing or reminds you of a loving situation, one that has always feed your soul in a gentle honouring way and listen to it when you start to feel angry.
- Distraction is good, try a few different distraction techniques, you might need to try various ones until you find the one best suited for you. This is something you can discuss with your hypnotherapist; they may have some alternative suggestions.
Try some relaxation techniques
Stress and anger tend to go hand in hand; they have a common trait and personality. Many people find reducing their stress levels assists them in keeping their anger under control, when the body mind is relaxed so is the spirit. Relaxation techniques vary from one method to another; they challenge the physical aspects of anger and stress. This can help you refrain from behaving violently when you get angry or lashing out.
Try some of the following techniques when you are feeling stressed:
- breathing exercises
- tai chi
One very good technique in hypnotherapy for anger related issues helps by triggering the body's relaxation response. During a hypnotherapy session you will fall into a deeply relaxed hypnotic trance / state. It is at this point that the hypnotherapist offers suggestions to help control your anger.
If you are unable to express anger is not beneficial or healthy for you as it can lead to anger management issues. Expressing yourself in a constructive manner comes from being assertive. Being assertive paves the way in allowing you in a mature fashion tell people your opinions in a healthier way.
Some healthful tips for being more assertive when you are angry :
- make requests instead of demands or threats
- say “I could” instead of “I must”
- say “I might” instead of “I should”
- speak slowly and clearly
- tell people and explain why
- using phrases such as “I think” and “I feel” is about you and not them
When you are able to express yourself in this fashion it stops you from limiting yourself, you not robbed of expressing and especially it does not allow you to bottle things up, your emotions. This can be especially helpful to those who feel persistently angry.
Difficult conversation planning
Plan ahead if you know you get emotionally charged / angry, plan before hand so you feel better and in control, use your trigger points from your hypnotherapy session to calm you down, visualise the situation as you would like to see it as the perfect situation where everyone is a winner, there is harmony and satisfaction with success and positive outcomes for all. Make some notes about what you want to say utilising assertive tips. Plan some your favourite relaxation / distraction techniques best for the situation if you feel you may need to react quickly.
Stick to your notes, be confident with your notes about what your life met needs are and what you need to say in a harmonious way that will prevent you from being side tracked. This will certainly assist you from getting side tracked or perceive yourself as being overwhelmed and prevent you from being sidetracked. Talk to your hypnotherapist about any upcoming event or situation as they can advise you further.
Diet is very important in reducing your body's stresses, if you are most suited to be a vegetarian eating animal flesh will tax your body mind spirit just as being vegan. If your life style increases your stress then it is not conducive to your wellbeing and your body's stress levels. This can certainly have a profound reaction – cause and effect on your anger levels. A healthy, balanced diet, increases mind frame responses, it grants you the increase in your energy levels and you feel absolutely wonderful, full of pep, life, vigor and vitality.
Exercise is a option proven in reducing stress and stress related attitudes, it can be an integral part of pacifying or reducing anger. It is known that exercise reduces boosts your well being, moods quality of sleep and relaxation. This is certainly a bonus in treatment of anger related issues. Starting slow is better than not starting at all, finding the best training programme for you allows your journey to become easier. Always consult a professional before starting any exercise programme.